What finally got to me was not any close call or near accident (never had any in 6 years of riding), but the thought that if something did happen to me then Ethan would not remember me! All the time we had spent together would not yet be burned into his memory. He would only read this blog and hear Mummy say, "Your Daddy loved you very much Ethan, and you loved him too! But one day when he was riding this motorcycle which you loved to play on..." Oh, the first time the thought dropped into my head there were tears in my eyes!
"Ethan wanna ride motorbike!" is one of the sentences that my son is adept at. He is also very adept at riding my motorbike. He looks like quite a natural holding the handlebars and playing with all the gadgets. It's much more fun than a car cos he gets up real close and there are a lot more switches and gadgets on my bike that he can fiddle with!
When he was younger he would be scared when he saw me on the bike with my full-face helmet on because he didn't recognize me. Now he does recognize me. "Daddy motorbike!" he exclaims happily when he sees. Once he saw me out of the car window when I rode up next to him. Later that same day, in the car on the way home he said to Mummy, "Want the Daddy outside!" He wanted to see me on the motorbike again!Below is the only video that we have of us playing on the bike together. We played on it together for a loooong time on that final day before the buyer came to pick it up. I finally peeled him off and both of us cried...
If you don't know (because I didn't know before this), giving up riding and leaving a large sport-tourer like this feels very much like "breaking up". I laughed at myself when I thought of this analogy, but it's true! It comes with bittersweet memories of the times you enjoyed together, the thrilling excitement and fun, and the hopes of the future that will never fulfilled (like riding to Thailand!). Now you know how understanding Renata is to put up with all of this from her hubby! :)